Maintaining my mental health on social media

Before you read this I need to stress that I do not have the answers to maintaining good mental health whilst using social media, I'm still working that one out for myself. Following #mentalhealthawarenessweek however I couldn't help but notice that any conversation I had around mental health always seemed to relate back to it.

In this day and age being on these platforms feels unavoidable and whether you post regularly or not, your mental health is likely to be impacted by it. I post on instagram quite often and I've experienced thoughts such as 'Oh gosh I haven't updated it in a while, maybe I need to post something'? Which is ridiculous as unless you're a brand and trying to maintain a relationship with your followers then you most definitely don't NEED to post on social media.  For someone who has suffered with anxiety, social media has also led to feelings of self doubt and information overload.

I've deleted my accounts numerous times but that didn't mean I then had a healthy relationship with it. Even when I wasn't on it, I felt there was a world of conversations I missing out on and I was denying myself something which could be used for joy/creative expression. Whether we like it or not it is also integral to modern relationships. Imagine trying to organise an event without Facebook for example.

I find social media can also be incredibly useful as a platform to talk openly about mental health which is something I've been quite vocal about over the last year or two but there are steps/rules that I have to apply in order to try and maintain my mental health online. I don't always stick to these "rules" as well as I probably should and as I said at the start I don't have the exact answers. These are however my answers and things that have certainly helped me and you never know, they might help you too. 

Check in with that dopamine hit

As someone who is mainly a pinterest and instagram user, I find these platforms provide inspiration for places to go, things to create and allow for self expression. That being said, I can't say I don't enjoy the rush of putting something out and getting a good response - in other words the dopamine hit that comes when someone likes what you've shared. This process is absolutely fine and normal, as long as you are checking in with yourself, aware of the chemical reaction that's taking place in your brain and not becoming reliant on it as a way to boost self-esteem. As humans our natural instinct is to want to be liked, it's part of our evolutionary make-up. It's when we become dependent on the thoughts of others to feel good about ourselves that the issues start. I have to continuously remind myself to be mindful of our need to be liked and not to become reliant on it for my self- worth.

Think about the mind behind the post

When we look at others on social media sometimes our brains automatically judge and when we see posts 'fishing for likes' the thoughts we have aren't normally positive towards that person. We think they are vying for attention but having these negative thoughts doesn't do anything for us, especially when we continue to look anyway. Since I've been involved in more open conversations around mental health I've tried to look at this differently, which has actually helped me if I do ever find myself in a mindless scroll.  These days if I see a post where I think someone is looking for attention I try to think rather than 'oh they're just doing it for likes', but 'I wonder why they need that today and I hope they feel better'. I know that's not going to be the case for every post but it's interesting to come at it from a different perspective. I like to think about the person behind the post and what might be going on, why they need that little pick me up today. For me it also makes platforms such as instagram that little bit more human.

Unfollow posts that make me sad 

It is so easy to fall into a rut of following profiles and posts that make us feel bad about ourselves. I used to follow so many accounts that made me feel bad about myself, accounts with unattainable body images and lifestyles, until I realised I had the capacity to unfollow and curate a feed with a different kind of content. I particularly love @chessieking and @jameelajamilofficial  for presenting a whole new attitude to body image. These days I also try to follow accounts that either inspire me to be a better person, inspire me to do new things or create, fill me with joy (e.g friends and family) or raise awareness around mental health. It's always a long endless process having to unfollow/remove contacts but when that's done it can be so refreshing. 

Challenge myself 

With the ability to edit photos so easily and present content that looks 'perfect' it is easy to get sucked into a world of looking for perfection whether that's in the form of an immaculate home or in relation to our bodies. I used to get so tired always searching for the perfect shot and for years over-edited myself in order to look like others I saw online. It actually got to the point where my pictures didn't look like me at all, I definitely didn't look good, in fact I just looked like an alien. No wonder my dad always used to comment 'E-T phone home' which I just chose to ignore at the time. These days I try to hold back on the filters and will try and publish photos that a few years ago I probably wouldn't have. For example, on holiday recently me and my fiancé took a picture where I had my eyes closed and teeth on show but I also looked so unbelievably happy and remembered feeling so ridiculously happy at the time. It felt very exposing to share but I did it, without the need to edit my fanged teeth which is something I most definitely would have done before. It felt terrifying but also far healthier because I wasn't curating some feed of images that weren't me. That was whole heartedly me and an exercise in loving myself, even the bits I sometimes don't like very much. 

Be more human than brand 

I think this mainly applies to instagram but there is an element of pressure to have the perfect 'aesthetic' and feed to the point where we are turning our lives into curated brands. Some people obviously enjoy it and it looks fantastic but I felt that pressure for so long and it was exhausting. For me the beauty of life is also it's messiness. If we are always making sure our house is spotless, our holiday photos are perfect, we apply the same filter to every photo, surely that's absolutely exhausting! I enjoy photography and creating content to share but I'm very mindful these days that I'm not always going to get perfection and I no longer want to edit the messy bits. If there is a messy dish in my shot for example or something not quite perfect but I love the picture anyway, I'm still going to upload it, because life is messy and imperfect and for me it feels much healthier than having the anxiety that comes with always trying to be perfect.

Take now, upload later. 

I used to feel the need to take photos and share instantly what I was doing with the world, I suppose that's a big part of social media, instantly knowing what everyone is up to. For me however, when I was always needing to tell the world what I was up to in that exact moment, I'd be missing precious moments, precious memories with the people that were around me. Social media was always going to be there for me when I got home but there was always a pressure to share instantly to prove to the world I was having a good time. Now, I always try to be in the moment, and as a result it also means my content is usually better because I'm not rushed and pressured trying to think of some witty amusing remark and feeling anxious to get it out then and there. If I take a photo now it's usually longer than 24 hours before it goes anywhere and I get to have those precious moments for me, not my feed.


As I said I don't have the answers but since I have put these practices in place I have been able to enjoy using these platforms and my life more than I did previously. I no longer think of the content upload and make that a priority that inevitably dictates what I do in my spare time but live my life wholeheartedly, take pictures and maybe I'll upload them later. I think the biggest ease for me was also letting go of perfection, our lives aren't polished like an instagram feed and to pretend they are is only going to bring you more anxiety and stress and an ideal which is too difficult to sustain. Mindful use of social media I think is key, being mindful of that dopamine hit and if you're sharing to feel better about yourself then question where that is coming from and do something to feel better rather than relying on the likes to do that for you.